Looks like your post on r/osr got deleted, but here’s the reply I wrote:
Definitely not germain to this subreddit, but I like asymmetrical duet games and I’ll share some thoughts:
•There’s typo in the poem under Act I… story’s should be stories
•In Act I, the Knight has Actions and the Fish has Moves, not sure whether this is intentional
•Some parts of the Ritual may require more procedural clarity, like a suggestion for what to do if you don’t own a 9-sided die, or how to speak your essence at the same time as the other person (and similar for syncing your Words)
•There’s something kinky about this game, and I’m guessing it gets kinkier as the Acts progress. While it’s not overtly sexual, the power struggles — one player bound to silence but who has the ability to punish the other player — are kink. This is a game that requires a LOT more safety and trust than other games. My suggestion would be to lean into the kink and really call it out in the introduction and marketing any material so that people understand what they’re getting into. More explicit safety tools up front would be a good idea.
•You say it’s for online play but I’m not seeing how it would work well at all if not face to face. You may want to include a section on adapting it to online play.
Good luck, have fun, and don’t be surprised if this post is downvoted or removed…
Thank you for your thoughtful and constructive feedback. I appreciate you taking the time to read my game and share your insights.😊
I will fix the typo in the poem, thank you for catching that.
The difference between Actions and Moves is actually just an oversight, writing this game was quite a rush.
I agree that the Ritual could use more clarity and guidance. I will add some suggestions for alternative dice and ways to sync your speech. The dice thing was actually just a silly joke - or are there d9 (I think this hike doesn't fit the game's tone and probably will get cut)
You are right that there is a kink element to this game, and I should be more upfront about it. I will revise the introduction and marketing material to reflect that. I will also include more safety tools for players to use before and during the game.
I think I actually don't want this game to be played online anymore. It was an idea in the beginning but right now a I do not see anybody playing this game via vtt. Since the now deleted Reddit post is the only place where I mentioned online play i think this fixed itself. 🐟⚔️
Thank you again for your helpful comments. They will definitely improve my game.🙏
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Looks like your post on r/osr got deleted, but here’s the reply I wrote:
Definitely not germain to this subreddit, but I like asymmetrical duet games and I’ll share some thoughts:
• There’s typo in the poem under Act I… story’s should be stories
• In Act I, the Knight has Actions and the Fish has Moves, not sure whether this is intentional
• Some parts of the Ritual may require more procedural clarity, like a suggestion for what to do if you don’t own a 9-sided die, or how to speak your essence at the same time as the other person (and similar for syncing your Words)
• There’s something kinky about this game, and I’m guessing it gets kinkier as the Acts progress. While it’s not overtly sexual, the power struggles — one player bound to silence but who has the ability to punish the other player — are kink. This is a game that requires a LOT more safety and trust than other games. My suggestion would be to lean into the kink and really call it out in the introduction and marketing any material so that people understand what they’re getting into. More explicit safety tools up front would be a good idea.
• You say it’s for online play but I’m not seeing how it would work well at all if not face to face. You may want to include a section on adapting it to online play.
Good luck, have fun, and don’t be surprised if this post is downvoted or removed…
Thank you for your thoughtful and constructive feedback. I appreciate you taking the time to read my game and share your insights.😊
I will fix the typo in the poem, thank you for catching that.
The difference between Actions and Moves is actually just an oversight, writing this game was quite a rush.
I agree that the Ritual could use more clarity and guidance. I will add some suggestions for alternative dice and ways to sync your speech. The dice thing was actually just a silly joke - or are there d9 (I think this hike doesn't fit the game's tone and probably will get cut)
You are right that there is a kink element to this game, and I should be more upfront about it. I will revise the introduction and marketing material to reflect that. I will also include more safety tools for players to use before and during the game.
I think I actually don't want this game to be played online anymore. It was an idea in the beginning but right now a I do not see anybody playing this game via vtt. Since the now deleted Reddit post is the only place where I mentioned online play i think this fixed itself. 🐟⚔️
Thank you again for your helpful comments. They will definitely improve my game.🙏